Father's Day

Today we celebrated Father's day. It was a pretty low key day with us coming together for present opening & a cooked breakfast ( thanks JM )& then all went about doing our own thing for the rest of the day.
The rain has been falling all day, what a wonderful sound it is to hear the rain fall. How lovely it is to be curled up on the lounge under a beautifull soft blanket & read a book & then, without realising it, fall asleep for a good hour long nap!
We don't often have a day where we are all together, chilling out, taking it easy & enjoying the moment. We all enjoyed today...all coming together again at the dinner table for a yummy dinner that MM cooked for us. Nothing like a man who cooks for his family on Fathers day....bonza!!!
It was a nice way to end a busy but good week!

Highlights of my week...

~ Appreciating my 'down time' while JM & RM were at school & BB sound asleep. It's a fabulous, quiet, tranquil time of day.
~ Going early to pick up JM from Karate & just watching for a while without him knowing I was there. He is so skilled & has me feeling immense amounts of pride.
~ Talking to RM's teacher & being told how well he is doing focusing in the classroom. Interacting with the other children & being involved in classroom discussions. My heart just about bursts when I get this type of news.
~ Being woken up with a nice hot fresh cup of tea from MM AFTER he has already given BB his bottle, changed his nappy & is getting our big school boys ready for school.
~ Breakfast (mmmmm bacon) with my 'Freedom Friday' chickie babes....then window shopping to fill in the time before school pick up! Love days like that!
~ A night at photography school (with my new camera) where I discovered not only is this something that I am REALLY going to love doing...but also that I daydream a hell of a lot when I probably shouldn't (ha ha) & of course missed some of the info! Best part of it is that I can laugh at myself over that one. What a nong!!!
~ Getting in some cuddle time with the newest member of our 'Freedom Friday' girls (baby MJ) & soaking up her pure energy. No resistance. Gotta love that!
~ Discovering BB sleeping as though he was sitting up, then flopped forward when he couldn't stay awake any longer. Even in his sleep he's a crack up.
~ Getting an awesome foot rub from MM after the kiddlywinks were all tucked in their beds asleep. So nice.

These are just some of the stand out moments of my week. I love to think them over again & enjoy the feelings they give me. Tis good to be me!

Happy fathers day MM. xxx

Finding the peace within...

Going downstream...


I want to be at peace with every single decision I have made & will make.
I want to feel, as I kiss my children goodnight, that I have loved & guided them.
I want to feel, at the end of the day, that I have been loving, supportive & appreciative of my husband.
I want to feel I'm an individual while being the piece that fits perfectly to complete the puzzle that is my sisters, my brother, my parents, my family.
I want to feel, either in the midst of a crisis or fits of laughter, that I am a friend to those girlfriends I am lucky to have in my life.
I want to feel satisfied, fulfilled, excited, motivated, & above all else...happy!
There will be no more paddling upstream...

Ruthless...

In my quest to 'feel' all of these wonderful things, I decided that I was going to start with the very heart of me. My home.
So despite the fearful looks from my husband & children, I got to work on my home & did a week & a half long cull & organise.
I had a motto. If I didn't love it & I didn't use it, it's gone. Some things went to the bin, others to charity. I even managed to pass on school items, craft items, toys & general stuff to those around me.
What a feeling of satisfaction that was!!! How very cleansing!

I've been spending some time with my friends & I've been spending some time with MM & sometimes its just me & BB. I've been playing with my new camera ( my class to learn how to use it to its full potential is tomorrow night ). I've been reading, meditating, singing, dancing, laughing, listening, baking, supporting, appreciating & an all round fine tuning of my life.

Forget the fat...

I have decided, after lots of thinking, to change the name of my blog...again!!!
I have decided to drop the fat(literally). By focusing on my extra weight, I keep it here! By focusing on all the fabulous things about myself & my life (just by looking around with a different mind set) I am discovering I don't 'need' the fat. It has served it's purpose & that purpose is no longer here.

By believing that food is my friend & that my body knows how to metabolize the foods that I eat, I give myself the freedom to live my life as I want to. Guilt free!
By choosing to experience all these fabulous things on a daily basis, I now want to move, I want to nourish my body & I want to feel fit, healthy & free!
This, I believe, is the best way to get there.

I'm no longer going from fat to fabulous. I found fabulous!!!

From here...

From here on in, my blog is going to be about the positive aspects of my life. My daily routine's, my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my passions, my interests, my hurdles (that can always be overcome)my changing outlook, my changing body & my journey......downstream!

Feelings....

So many emotions...

How does one 'choose' to feel fabulous, despite what ever is going on around you?
I've worked it out.....I think!

My big boy JM has slowly become less & less happy in his current school. Lots of reasons. Behavioural issues within the school, lack of stimulation within the classroom & a sense of 'not belonging' in the playground.
This revelation has stirred up loads of emotions within me.

1. Hurt. It's gut wrenching to see your child unhappy.
2. Guilt. As his mother I should be able to protect him from this kind of thing.
3. Worry. How long has he been unhappy for & can he find happiness in another school?
4. Frustration. I'm struggling with not being in 'control' of this situation.
5. Shame. I am ashamed that I struggled terribly with letting him change schools because the school he is in, is a private school, the one he wants to go to is a government school. Yep...that makes me a private school snob. How embaressing!

Long story short. This big brave boy of mine has changed schools. Today, in fact, is his second day at his new school. He is nervous, feels like a fish out of water & has even doubted his decision a few times, but he's there & he's giving it a go & I am so so proud of him.
(update at the end of new school day 2 - JM still thinks Deptuty Principal thinks she's 'all that'...ha-ha! He is much happier this evening, feeling good about his decision to change schools & has even made an appointment with Deputy & discussed moving up to the advanced classes.....THAT'S my boy!!!)

Now...how did I 'choose' to feel fabulous while all this was going on? I decided that I was going to flip all those emotions & make them into something positive. It's not that easy to do, but its actually not that hard either, you just have to start by softening it.

For eg:

Hurt. Yes my tummy was in knots. But JM came to me, honest, open & trusting that I would respect his feelings. I am so grateful we have that kind of relationship.

Guilt. I'm his Mamma...yes. But on this journey of life of his, I am merely his guide. The rest is up to him. That's a toughy to accept, but I've done it.

Worry. Worrying about JM doesnt do him, or me, any good. By worrying about him, I give put that vibe out to him, which in turn makes him worry more about his situation. So we focus on the good parts.

Frustration. Not bieng in control. Hmmmmm...this is something that will take some practice. However, if I take a deep breathe & believe that these are all lessons that JM will benefit from, then it softens my need to be the master of HIS life.

Shame. Woah...this one wasn't easy either. What's the difference between a private & government school? School fees? Yes. Stigma? Ah yes, thats it...its the stigma of a 'state' school that I'm struggling with.
How do I soften this? Tricky but possible!
The stigma of anything is not only created by other people (people just like me) but also by the people who actually believe in it & then care more about what 'others' believe that I do. So....its what we believe that's important. Not only is it important, but its all that matters.

I do believe I am a little step closer to being totally fabulous. Amazing what we can learn from our children.

Let's get physical...

BB & I have discovered 'The Wiggles'. Their songs are catchy & lots of fun for a Mamma & her Bubba to dance too. Fun times :)

WHAT I'VE DONE FOR ME...

Apart from having some fun pointing my fingers & doing the twist (thank you Wiggles) I also had some impromptu fun with a couple of friends I don't get to spend time with very often. If not for our boys being in the same year 5 class at school, we probably wouldn't 'find' the time to catch up at all.
But we sat, for hours! We talked, laughed, bitched, complained, got up our kids a couple of times, had several cups of tea & THE MOST divine yummo thing I've eaten in a long while. I cannot for the life of me remember what it's called...but when Miss B gets her bake on...she REALLY gets her bake on! YUM YUM!!!

Negelected much?

If my blog had feelings...

If my blog had feelings I would be apologizing right now for neglecting it. I have been a busy gal since my last post & when I actually got the time to sit with my laptop & put my thoughts down, I didn't actually have thoughts other than, 'Maaaan I'm tired'.

If my blog had feelings I would be assuring it that I (in my absence) have continued to be nothing less than good to me.( excusing the mad dash to 'clean up' a bit b4 the MIL came to visit, an area I want to continue to work on in myself by not believing she is passing judgement....or care if she does)

If my blog had feelings I would be promising to keep updating, more than I have been doing so.

In the time since my last post I got to see my baby boy turn one. A whole year has gone by since he was born & I have enjoyed & treasured the ride. He certainly knows how to make me feel alive, feel appreciative & feel blessed.

The best gift I can give to him is a Mamma who is happy, secure, self assured, fullfilled & honest...which is why I'm going from the mentality of feeling fat....to feeling fabulous!!! (regardless of my size & shape)
Happy birthday BB. I love you.

All kinds of Awesome...

Way to go ... ME!

I've spent the last 2 days moving my tushy, as well as my arms, legs & whatever else I needed to move to help my sister move into her new house & clean her old one.
I'm feeling all kinds of awesome about it too (of course) mainly because I loved the feeling of helping my sister out but also because cleaning windows, walls, floors bathrooms, etc etc etc gives the body a great workout!
It doesn't get much better than that. One small act..good for the body & for the soul.
Tis good to be me. Think I might just be getting on top of this feeling good 'first' & then letting the rest work itself out.

WHAT I DID FOR ME OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS...

I willingly accepted & enjoyed the tim tam & mint slice with a cup of tea or two my sister (CR) offered me during our marathon moving/cleaning frenzy! Yum Yum!

Talk about refocus...

Was a good good day...

I'm loving being me right about now & that includes my 25+ kilo's of extra weight. Well...can't say I'm loving them exactly, but I am loving me, even with them! Does that make sense?
I had a whole day out today with my biggest boy & my littlest boy. I made good food choices, drank lots of water, did some shopping, spent some money ( on myself ) & generally enjoyed my day!
I had a light bulb moment whilst out today (& spending some of that time with some girlfriends), that this is what its all about.
I'm not interested in thinking about weather I look fat, or if the food I am about to eat has 10 calories too much in it, or even if I am not able to buy 'skinny' jeans.
What this life of mine is about is feeling fabulous! And I don't need to be size 8, only eat salads & lift weights to feel good about myself.
When I feel good, I want to move my body, I want to nourish it with healthy foods & I want to treat it with respect.
It has dawned on me that I can get there from here. All I need to do is look in that direction. All I need to do is enjoy my life....
So.....who's up for Zumba????

All in the family...

Feeling the love...

I've had the best couple of days! Yesterday MM & I spent the day together. A psychologist appointment ( sounds odd I know, but we really enjoy it), coffee, lunch, shopping, shopping, shopping! I got surprised with the camera I have been wanting for a long time...he really knows how to surprise a girl.
We were on our feet just about all day, so I figured we walked plenty! LOL

Last night however, our littlest man was nothing less that very unhappy, only sleeping for about 20 minutes at a time before waking up crying. Panadol, teething gel, LOADS of cuddles & I just about saw each & every hour (& half hour) of the entire night.
More surprises? I got to sleep in!!! Not only did MM take both JM & RM to school, but he took BB on the school run with him. THEN...took him to the paint shop with him before he bought him home & put him to bed. BLISS!!!

The Family that walks together...

We all walked together tonight...so I got to find my 30 minutes with my boys (except JM who was at Karate finding his 30 minutes x3). We had a good time, despite the crisp night air.

POSITIVE THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY

New day, new page, new life! It just gets better & better!

WHAT I DID FOR ME TODAY...

Today I embraced what MM was offering & I snuggled into my warm bed on my own & slipped into a deep sleep for 3 hours. Feeling loved much!